We Asked Our Readers For Advice On Aging By Decade—Here’s What You Had To Say
With each passing year, we become more reflective of who we are and where we’re going. A few years ago, we asked our parents for their advice on how to navigate our 30s, which sparked beautiful conversations and still serve as powerful words to live by to this day.
But life experience is a lot like birthday cake—best when it’s shared. 🎂 So this year, we decided to reach out to you, our readers, for even more advice across every decade of life.
And let us tell you—you delivered. We spent hours poring through advice from people in their teens all the way up to their seventies, grateful for all you had to share. Some of you even gave advice for years you have not yet reached, and they read like beautiful manifestations and affirmations of what you want for your life and for others.
We selected some of our favorites below, but know that every tidbit of wisdom was received with warm hearts (and some teary eyes). Thank you, friends, for making the internet a kinder place, and for making aging seem a lot less scary.
Advice for your teenage years
“Trust in yourself and what you know. Don’t feel like you need to fit into a mold or what everyone else says you should be into, look like, dress like, etc. Let your inner voice guide you, and when in doubt, read some books!” —Ifrah A, 20s
“Meditate.” —Colette G, 20s
“Build self-confidence through keeping promises to yourself while you still have a ton of energy! Trust yourself to follow through on doing the things you deserve, like moving your body, eating whole foods, spending time with friends, and everything that makes life fun.” —Anonymous, 20s
“All your emotions are heightened right now. Things will get easier and smoother, I promise. Also, if you’re struggling, ask for help. Being vulnerable is actually an incredible strength, and a skill that will serve you well throughout your life.” —Iris G, 20s
“Life won’t always be the way you think it is right now. One day you’ll look back on these moments with fondness, a little joy, and a little sadness. But your teenage self will barely believe where your adult self goes. Keep going, follow your dreams, dream big.” —Heather B, 30s
“If you’re struggling, ask for help. Being vulnerable is actually an incredible strength, and a skill that will serve you well throughout your life.”
Iris G, 20s
“People aren’t thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.” —Rachel T, 30s
“I don’t know who started the rumor that women need to be hairless to be attractive, but men don’t care. Anytime I’ve mentioned not being waxed or shaved the answer is always ‘so?’ Do what you want, it’s your beautiful body.” —Jacqui D, 30s
“Keep tweezers and wax far away from your eyebrows.” —Hanna S, 30s
“Slow down. You’ll grow up faster than you think and there are so many experiences to be had right now. Savor the time. Learn from the good and the bad. The intensity of your emotions are a gift, don’t ignore them. Sit with them. Consider them. And never be afraid to ask for help. You are loved.” —Laurie N, 40s
“Give yourself some grace and learn about how hormones impact your experience and perception. Be kind to yourself. Enjoy the freedom of your teens while respecting it and take into account how future you may be impacted by present choices.” —Elizabeth C, 40s
“Your parents are on your side. Your family is always going to be there. Value your time with them.” —Manjusha G, 40s
“As much as you want to moan and groan when your parents start acting ‘all young and silly,’ LET THEM. Life flies by REALLY fast and reliving teenage moments to them feels like yesterday.” —Nic K, 40s
“Find a mentor that you can share feelings with and ask important questions Don’t worry about not being in the cool gang, you will find your groove and tribe many times over throughout your life” —Sandi C, 50s
“Find your hidden gem. What makes you tick? Claim it. Find a good therapist. Go at least 4 times then you’ll have the rapport in place for when you need it. Avoid alcohol. Don’t ask why…just wait.” —Lisa PS, 50s
“Be open and learn from your elders. They have life experience which turns into wisdom as it ages.” —Amy S, 60s
“Oh darlings, just hold on tight. It’s all so confusing and wonderful all at the same time. Choose your friends carefully and don’t be afraid to be yourself and love that person.” —Dianne S, 70s
“Oh darlings, just hold on tight. It’s all so confusing and wonderful all at the same time. Choose your friends carefully and don’t be afraid to be yourself and love that person.”
Dianne S, 70s
Advice for your 20s
“Find something you enjoy that you can go to when in tough times.” —Anonymous, 20s
“You should not compete with others, drink way less, and ask a lot of questions. Also, suffering in relationships is not love. Leave.” —Mariana CR, 20s
“Know your worth and that it’s okay to make changes. You don’t have to be locked into a path and follow that to its end. You can shift and change course. Your skills and time are valuable, never let anyone else undermine that.” —Ifrah A, 20s
“You definitely don’t have to know your next step (your 20s are for figuring yourself out), but you should have a strong set of values by your mid-20s that guide the decisions you make. That way, you’ll end up in the right place, even if you don’t know what that place is right now.” —Anonymous, 20s
“Be intentional about your relationships, learn to invest in those people that also invest in you. Continue to love others. Go at the pace you’re called to go, you don’t need to get married right away, or have kids right away, or get a house right away. Everyone has their own pace.” —Shine R, 20s
“Celebrate your friends’ accomplishments, big or small. A new apartment, an engagement, leaving a crappy job…Be happy for the people around you!” —Celia W, 20s
“Everything will be constantly changing during your 20s, so try your best to build a relationship with yourself that can ground you when things become confusing or overwhelming. Get to know yourself (and your inner child, very important!), meditate, move your body, do more of what you like, say no to the things you don’t and try not to take life too seriously.” —Iris G, 20s
“You can change. And change again. And change again.” —Farrin M, 30s
“Do not give anyone your power. Control is not the same as compromise.”
Jessie C, 30s
“Make sure you are getting a good balance of internal and external validation. No one can fill you up completely, nor should they.” —Rachel T, 30s
“Do not give anyone your power. Control is not the same as compromise. And if someone is making you dislike yourself for something completely normal, don’t be afraid to walk away.” —Jessie C, 30s
“Have fun! Make mistakes and learn from them!” —Jen K, 30s
“Approach this decade with ferocious curiosity” —Kimberly H, 30s
“Sexual health is important, get your pap smear every year, get tested for STDs, and make sure your partner does as well.” —Jacqui D, 30s
“Everyone is struggling. It’s not just you.” —Hanna S, 30s
“Don’t turn down road-trips or special moments with one or both of your parents. You’ll regret it if you turn down some sweet bonding time.” —Anonymous, 30s
“Life is long: don’t rush to work and have a stable life. Don’t obsess over money, clout and status. Dance, cook, have sex, do drugs, stay at home, sleep in the streets, do whatever except obsess over work and money.” —Elena S, 30s
“Even though everyone says you should find a career in something you love, not everyone should. Depending on that about which you are passionate for your livelihood can take the joy out of it. Find a job you enjoy, one that is fulfilling, but it’s okay to keep your passions for yourself.” —Laurie N, 40s
“Be kind to yourself. Learn how to enjoy spending time on your own.” —Elizabeth C, 40s
“You will not be the same person 20 years, don’t take it too seriously.” —Michelle L, 40s
“Eat healthy, drink water, take care of your skin and get exercise, and build healthy routines, rituals, and habits—your 40+ age self will massively thank you.” —Nic K, 40s
“Work on yourself in little ways (with that therapist from your teens :). Start saving money. Start thinking about needs vs wants. Kiss a lot of different people. Say nice things to yourself in the form of affirmations. If you have a shitty mom or dad, find new role models. Journal. Travel to as many countries as you can. Begin in this decade.” —Lisa P, 50s
“My 20s were the toughest decade for me, trying to find my niche. Explore. Try different jobs. Live in different parts of the world. Be open to learning more about yourself. I was drawn to Tarot cards and astrology to understand myself. Therapy never hurts.” —Amy S, 60s
“Get out of your head and into the world, experience is much better when you feel it with your heart.” —Susan M, 60s
“Fall in love with everyone.” —Dianne S, 70s
“Get out of your head and into the world, experience is much better when you feel it with your heart.”
Susan M, 60s
Advice for your 30s
“Develop an awareness of how you feel and follow it. Drink your water, wash and moisturize your face. Quit that job. Find a new one thing and follow it like a rabbit down a hole.” —Farrin M, 30s
“Don’t panic if you seem to be doing things later than everyone else. We all grow and discover at different rates. At the same time, don’t let fear hold you back. You are so much stronger than you think.” —Jessie C, 30s
“This is where transformation happens. This is when you learn about yourself more than ever. Allow it, embrace it and be proud of how far you’ve come” —Allison R, 30s
“Glass of water before bed. Glass of water before morning coffee. Now that does a body good.” —Hanna S, 30s
“If you’re not happy, make a change until you are. Life is too short to spend living someone else’s narrative. Nothing matters as much as being true to yourself. So do the things that make you happy and distance yourself from those that don’t.” —Cris A, 30s
“Your body will start changing—whether it’s the appearance of a few stray grey hairs, fine lines around your eyes, or some extra weight here and there. Let it—it’s how your body shows the unique pattern of your life!” —Anonymous, 30s
“Your body will start changing. Let it—it’s how your body shows the unique pattern of your life!”
Anonymous, 30s
“Trust your gut but don’t always do as your experience tells you: take chances, risk things, cry a lot.” —Elena S, 30s
“I felt like this was the time when I started to settle into my being, my life, and my future but that wasn’t quite right. We should constantly learn, change, evolve, and expand. From our souls to our bodies to our surroundings, seek growth. Surround yourself with love and people who nourish you. Find your community (if you haven’t already) and build upon your foundation.” —Laurie N, 40s
“This is the stage for some belly button gazing and doing some self work.” —Michelle L, 40s
“Be patient with your partner—you are together for a marathon, not a sprint.” —Manjusha G, 40s
“Perfect the art of being attentive and buying quality gifts people will love to receive. Invest in a quality mattress and quality bedding—sleep is important and you best love being in the place you do it every night” —Nic K, 40s
“Take care of yourself, this includes your: feet, mental health, and physical strength. Also, if you’re interested in starting a family and haven’t yet, it can still be done—admittedly, having my one and only baby at 40, I can tell you that you can do it, just know your body can struggle more if you’re not actively working towards improving yourself (exercise, etc.).” —Rebecca W, 40s
“Be kind with your changing self. Life is happening now. You don’t have to be perfect to be accepted or loved.” —Marie C, 40s
“There is no perfect time to start a family.” —Michelle Q, 40s
“Stop trying to be happy all the time. Strive for contentment and appreciate happy when it happens.” —Regina M, 50s
“Stay true to yourself. This is the decade when you might erode/lose who you are at your core due to life changes, partnerships, children, and peer pressure.” —Cathy V, 50s
“Travel. Travel. Travel. Develop grounding daily practices. Trust. Begin investing. Learn new things. Read all the time. Be a good friend. Find your inner wisdom. Talk to her regularly. Keep checking in with your therapist. If they suck, definitely find a better one.” —Lisa PS, 50s
“Eat well, watch alcohol consumption.” —JA, 60s
“Don’t feel that you have to take on everything. Job, marriage, parenthood. You’ve still got some time, you’re still growing. No unnecessary pressure.” —Dianne S, 70s
“Trust. Begin investing. Learn new things. Read all the time. Be a good friend. Find your inner wisdom. Talk to her regularly.”
Lisa PS, 50s
Advice for your 40s
“If you’re lucky, you still have as many years ahead as behind. What an amazing time to exist. The knowledge you have earned over the last few decades can make this the most beautiful time in your life so far. This can be the decade of comfort and exploration. You’ve likely established yourself in one way or another. Maybe it’s time to lean into that or maybe it’s time to renew yourself. It’s also time to make sure you’re taking care of your body and mind. Feed and exercise both in a way that rejuvenates. You will be rewarded for that love.” —Laurie N, 40s
“Take care of your skin (full body), do more of what you love, and go to bed by 10—or find a way to get all your sleep.” —Anonymous, 40s
“Be kind to yourself. You are still so young and don’t forget it. Appreciate your body.” —Elizabeth C, 40s
“If you haven’t started already, spend as much time and collect as much wisdom you can from the elders in your life you’re close to. […] Your 30s will have flown by and your 40s go even faster. Stop filling your life with clothes, make-up and other material things. Spend the money on trips and memories and experiences, and savings.” —Nic K, 40s
“You still have plenty of time ahead of you. Make this time yours and not others’!” —Marie C, 40s
“Pay attention to repeating dysfunctional patterns and seek knowledge or therapy on creating positive patterns.”
Stefanie M, 50s
“Are you half way done? Make the second half better than the first.” —Render M, 40s
“Never doubt who you are, what you bring to the table and how awesome you are.” —Michelle, 50s
“Pay attention to repeating dysfunctional patterns and seek knowledge or therapy on creating positive patterns.” —Stefanie M, 50s
“Remember that even those people in your life that you trust fully will eventually cause hurt to you through betrayal, dishonesty, or just plain bullying (yes, bullying is still a thing). Having the grace and strength to get through these challenges are built throughout your earlier decades. Don’t lose who you are because those of peer pressure.” —Cathy V, 50s
“Trust your inner wisdom. Claim your voice. Keep traveling. Nurture friendships. Hire help. Limit alcohol. Keep your practices strong. Give time to your community. Take your neighbor’s garbage cans in and out. Travel. Volunteer in another country. Keep learning. Get a dog. Write. Teach others what you know best. Be kind. Tip a lot. Save and spend. Do both equally.” —Lisa PS, 50s
“I felt my strongest, internally in my 40s. Sex is great. Go for it.” —Amy S, 60s
“Buckle up. Contribute to 401k, patience, enjoy life while kids are still home.” —JA, 60s
“Ok now you are a big person….an adult. You may think you were before but most people shouldn’t have made life altering decisions before now.” —Dianne S, 70s
Advice for your 50s
“I have just turned 50 and although I’ve just moved countries, changed my career, learning a new language, I’m still searching out things to do, places to go….. live life to the full. I’m focused on my health because I want to be fit and independent for as long as I can. I make sure people I love and my well-being are at the forefront of my life. Looking back I probably have only one wish which is that I probably should have invested more but it’s only a minor practical thing that I can say from hindsight.” —Sandi C, 50s
“Continue to learn every day, especially through younger and older people. Be open to evolution and keep in mind that the world is so incredibly different than when you were growing up. Practice patience with those who feel like their old ways are the best ways but also free yourself from their company when you realize that their values and philosophy about living are completely contrary to yours.” —Cathy V, 50s
“Don’t stay married to the wrong partner. You won’t win an award for staying. Rinse and repeat your 40s.” —Lisa PS, 50s
“Enjoy your new freedom without your kids.” —Tiina L, 50s
“Keep your career moving forward and leave it when you are ready, don’t be afraid to make changes.” —Susan M, 60s
“Don’t stay married to the wrong partner. You won’t win an award for staying. Rinse and repeat your 40s.”
Lisa PS, 50s
This is a good time. If you’ve taken care of yourself, your body is probably perfect. So is your mind. You have gained knowledge and experience enough to give good sold information and advise. It’s a decade to reevaluate and look at some of the things you wanted to do but didn’t. If you are a parent you can start to have a meaningful adult relationship with your children.” —Dianne S, 70s
Advice for your 60s
“WOWOWOW…how did I get here and what is next? I spent too many years surviving, sometimes thriving, sometimes crying, but 60 wasn’t on my radar. Dream of your next life early on.” —Susan M, 60s
Dream of your next life early on.”
Susan M, 60s
“Move your body all the time. Work your brain. Stay engaged with a team, group.” —JA, 60s
“60s are a time to reflect and think about the person you are. If you’re retired and worked all of your life you most probably didn’t take the time to tweak any emotional flaws that may have been their all your life. It’s time to sit back any really look at the way you are, or not loving yourself. It’s time to stop giving any of your energy to criticism, negativity or judgment to yourself and to people and things around you. It’s time to realize that what you think is who you are. Be soft, be accepting. We’re all, including you, doing the best we can.” —Dianne S, 70s
Advice for your 70s (And Up!)
“It’s really a lovely decade. BTW, I forgot to say all this time you should have been moving and breathing! If you have, and you’re healthy, enjoy every minute. It’s one of the best times in your life. Spend time being kind, generous. Laugh a lot. Stay mindful, love every moment this life continues to give you. Being is a privilege and an honour. Don’t ever take it for granted. Love yourself. See beauty in the world. And look in the mirror every day and tell that reflection looking back how wonderful they are. The world is Divine and so are you.” —Dianne S, 70s
“Love yourself. See beauty in the world. And look in the mirror every day and tell that reflection looking back how wonderful they are. The world is Divine and so are you.”
Dianne S, 70s
Emily McGowan is the Editorial Director at The Good Trade. She studied Creative Writing and Business at Indiana University, and has over ten years of experience as a writer and editor in sustainability and lifestyle spaces. Since 2017, she’s been discovering and reviewing the top sustainable home, fashion, beauty, and wellness products so readers can make their most informed decisions. Her editorial work has been recognized by major publications like The New York Times and BBC Worklife. You can usually find her in her colorful Los Angeles apartment journaling, caring for her rabbits and cat, or gaming. Say hi on Instagram!