The day I got laid off was a total shock. 

I was the studio manager at a well known Los Angeles-based fashion company. I’d arrived extra early (as usual) to get started on my laundry list of tasks scheduled for the day. The day before, I had to let go of my intern because we wanted to find someone with more ‘editorial experience’ (little did I know, that wasn’t the real reason), so I was spread extra thin. After about an hour, a woman from HR came to my desk. I figured she wanted to chat about hiring a new intern.

She led me into an office, where the head of HR was waiting. I sat down and they proceeded to tell me that I was being laid off. At first, I didn’t hear them, and I had to have them say it again. They assured me it was not because of my performance but because the company was restructuring. With that, and like in a scene from a movie, they gave me a box. 

I walked with slumped shoulders and a confused disposition back to my desk. As I walked, holding back tears and trembling with my ‘box of shame,’ employees muted their gasps. A few of my friends and colleagues ran to my desk and the tears began. That day, 30 people were laid off—it was the company’s largest layoff yet.

“Leaving my job was supposed to be on my terms, not HR’s.”

The irony was that I’d been very unhappy at my job for quite some time. I was even actively looking and applying for other opportunities. So at first, I felt relieved and excited to jump into said opportunities. But then reality set in: I was suddenly without a job in one of the world’s most expensive cities, living in a huge two-bedroom apartment with my best friend. I was also grappling with the pain of feeling like my life was completely out of control. Leaving my job was supposed to be on my terms, not HR’s.

The next few months proceeded to be a whirlwind of massive life changes and a whole lot of self-reflection. To keep me calm during this time, I worked out and hiked often. Almost every day, I found myself in nature and engaging in movement. I looked for opportunities everywhere and ended up being able to work on some amazing projects. Though I felt out of control in many ways, I found strength in knowing that I still had control over how I was going to move forward in my life.

“Getting let go, as hard as it was in the moment, was a push in a new direction. The experience gifted me the freedom I’d been wanting.”

Looking back now, I am grateful. I may never have left that job on my own, even though it was making me sick with burn-out. Getting let go, as hard as it was in the moment, was a push in a new direction. The experience gifted me the freedom I’d been wanting. 

We reached out to hear from our readers about their experiences. Being let go is so incredibly common, yet it can feel isolating and traumatic, which is why we feel it’s important to create a safe space for this discussion. As you’ll see in the stories shared below, no one is alone in their experience. Especially with millions facing layoffs and furloughs in this COVID-19 moment, it’s important to hold space for each other’s experiences.

If you feel so inclined, we’d love to hear your stories about what you did to move forward after a layoff in the comments below. 💛

“I worked in digital marketing for an agency. My agency couldn’t make sales and so they had let people go—me being one of them. The worst part? They let us go the day they told us [and] with no severance…I was so stressed and it left us in a bad financial predicament. (We [were] moving in 6 months.) 

“Looking back now, I’m so proud of myself for keeping on even though it was tough and there were a lot of why-me’s and tears.”

I went on unemployment. I applied to nearly 100 jobs! Even with a degree and years of experience the job market in Denver is incredibly rough. I started feeling hopeless… but at the same time I had to survive. Some opportunities for freelance [work] came up so I took them and got off unemployment. I worked my ass off to survive on freelance. Looking back now, I’m so proud of myself for keeping on even though it was tough and there were a lot of why-me’s and tears. My bf was so amazing and supportive. His income was the only guaranteed income. 

Finally, I had a job offer come through! And [it was] an offer that paid me what I was worth. I learned a lot about what I value in an employer [from that experience]. Now I work for an amazing company that takes care of me and my family in so many ways and I couldn’t imagine a better company to work for.” – J.H.

“I had my dream job and then the department was eliminated. I found another job but realized I was still resentful and depressed two years later. I finally went to a Life Coach. She changed my life and I’m so happy now!” – D.D.

“When I got home my parents and my partner popped some prosecco, ordered in some Chinese, and congratulated me for getting out of that hell hole.”

“I was working for [a bridal store] in the UK. The operations were messy, my manager and area manager were unkind and disorganized…I was fired through the incorrect disciplinary system and I didn’t know what to do. I called my mama instantly, and then my partner. I travelled three to four hours from Watford to Surrey during the tube strikes, just shocked and with my own thoughts.

When I got home my parents and my partner popped some prosecco, ordered in some Chinese, and congratulated me for getting out of that hell hole. How others react to things affects me a lot, so [them] keeping a positive outlook on things helped…I gave myself a day…to chill, read, do a face mask. And then I got back to it. But one thing I’ve learnt five years on is that it’s okay to talk about it. [Losing a job] happens. And it’s not embarrassing, it’s just another challenge to take on and grow from. Otherwise I’d still be in that dreadful place.” – C.M.

“I was forced to take a buyout and have been floating around grasping at something significant ever since. In and out of unfulfilling jobs, wanting desperately to settle into my passions, but needing to make a living for family. That was in 2010…

“I was forced to take a buyout and have been floating around grasping at something significant ever since.”

I have since then held 5 different positions, in 5 different places. I’m in my 40s now and am still working on finding a way to make a living either doing something that I love and have a passion for, or at least finding a job that will pay me fairly, and that I do not hate.

Being laid off can be a gift or a death sentence to someone’s career, depending on where they are being laid off from, how many years they’ve dedicated to that company, and what their personal and family situation is at home. It is by no means something easy to recover from.” – L.L.

“I am constantly feeling like I’m going to get let go and I have intense money anxiety. It feels so suffocating to constantly worry about job security and money.”

“I once got laid off with a week’s notice and it put me in a really dark place. I didn’t really have much money in savings, but luckily I still lived with my parents so they were very supportive during that time. I got very depressed and unmotivated to find work and would spend days on end in bed feeling worthless and crying.

I [had been] employed as an ongoing freelancer at this place, so they were able to tell me that they didn’t need me any more. Around two weeks later, they called me up and asked me to come back, which I agreed to. I still work there now, but it felt traumatic for me and I am constantly feeling like I’m going to get let go and I have intense money anxiety. It feels so suffocating to constantly worry about job security and money.” – D.A.

“I was laid off on 31 December 2019, but was asked to stay until March 2020 to close the company’s office space down. Originally, I was so flat out with my workload & stressed about what [was] next that I didn’t have a plan and was scared. But after weeks of thinking about what I actually want to do with my future [and]…working out my finances & budget, I’ve enrolled in a life coaching course. It should take six months to study and graduate, and during that time I will work on a business plan, get clients, and also write a novella!

“After years of feeling uninspired […] and writing stories in my spare time to keep my creativity alive, I can finally do something that feels much more in tune with my true self.”

After years of feeling uninspired as I plodded away working in office administration or events and writing stories in my spare time to keep my creativity alive, I can finally do something that feels much more in tune with my true self. I started the year panicking about ‘what’s next’ and am now super excited for the future!…Being laid off [now] feels like a gift of opportunity.” – P.W.

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Courtney Jay Higgins is the Associate Editor at The Good Trade. She is also a Yoga Instructor, vegetarian, wellness and fashion enthusiast. Originally from Colorado, her soul found California when she came to get her degree in Visual Communications at the Fashion Institute Of Design & Merchandising. She has a background in telling a story through writing, creative direction and content creation. Check out her blog and Instagram for her unique perspective on the mergence of fashion and spirituality.