I arrived early to El Paso, Texas. I was awaiting the rest of my friends’ arrival for the next few hours. I ordered an Uber to take me to the hotel we were planning to stay at before heading west for a birthday celebration in remote Texas. 

I hopped in the Uber when it arrived and began to chat happily with my driver. I asked him some basic get-to-know-you questions: Where are you from? Oh, here? Do you like it here? What do you do for work? What are your hobbies? He asked me similar questions in return. We were having an easy conversation. I shared that I was traveling from out of town and wanting to explore the area a bit. I told him I loved flea markets, art, and local cafes. Did he have any recommendations? 

“He paused, ‘Well, I know this probably sounds weird, but I was planning to go to this really cool flea market after I complete your ride… Would you want to join me?'”

He paused, “Well, I know this probably sounds weird, but I was planning to go to this really cool flea market after I complete your ride. I thought I might as well pop in and see if they have any new records while I’m nearby. Would you want to join me?” 

I paused. 

He could murder me or I could have a fun experience with a complete stranger. I laughed to myself. 

I silently leaned into the feeling I had received from this man over the last 15 minutes. He was kind. He seemed introspective and open. I had told him I was married. He did not seem put off or otherwise. 

“What’s the name of the flea market?” I asked. 

He told me the name and I Googled it. It was, in fact, very close to the hotel. 

“Let’s do it,” I said. “And not that I don’t trust you, but please keep the Uber ride on and I’ll pay you for a new drop-off location.” 

He agreed, wanting me to feel safe. 

I shared my location with my husband and my friends, and I told them my plan. 

We arrived at the flea market. He locked my luggage in the trunk of his car and we proceeded to wander the many halls of the market together. We decided to stick together, to go through each stall alongside each other and look at weird objects, clothes, and records while chatting. I picked out a vintage fringe cowgirl shirt and a turquoise and silver lighter cover. He filed through hundreds of records telling me about his passion for jazz and explaining each of the records he chose. He found more gems than he normally did. He said I was his good luck charm. 

“We decided to stick together, to go through each stall alongside each other.”

He told me about his mother, native to Mexico, who had raised him across the border (El Paso is a border city — you can literally see the chainlink, spikey fence that divides Mexico from the United States while driving on the highway). His father was American. He spent his childhood going back and forth across the border. He told me about his passion for photography and showed me some of his work. I told him about my mother, an artist whom I admired deeply. We shared about our childhoods and the hobbies we were passionate about, mainly art, music, and design. We had this in common. 

There was something about knowing we would never see each other again and that we weren’t a part of each other’s worlds in any way that created an easy candidness between us. We asked each other deep questions and had nothing to hide. 

Eventually, my friends arrived in town, picked me up from the flea market, and I departed from my new friend with a hug, a photo together, and a follow on Instagram. 

The magic of saying yes to strangers

This experience in my late-twenties began a snowball effect of saying yes to strangers. In a world that is saturated with bad news and quietly teaches us that people are dangerous, I have chosen to live in opposition to this position — to live from the mindset that most people are mostly good. I have never been a stranger to serendipity, but this quiet hope has led me to embrace it all the more.

The Oxford dictionary defines serendipity as “the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.” I’ve found that when you combine serendipity with saying yes to strangers, you tap into the magic of living. You know, that feeling of childlike awe. 

“I’ve found that when you combine serendipity with saying yes to strangers, you tap into the magic of living.”

Magic is easy to find as a child; it is everywhere because the world is unknown to us. Everything is new. An ant travelling through a crack in the concrete could entertain us for hours. But the feeling is harder to come by as an adult. Jedidiah Jenkins documents this concept in his book To Shake the Sleeping Self. At the age of 30, Jenkins quits his nine-to-five job and spends 16 months biking from Oregon to Patagonia. This experience wakes him from his routine and restores his awe. 

I don’t think our pursuit of magic must be so dramatic. This awe, this magic, lives in the unexpected, and aren’t strangers unexpected in a multitude of ways? Pasts, presents, and futures all live within a single person. What a mystery to discover. 

“Magic is easy to find as a child; it is everywhere because the world is unknown to us.”

You pass strangers every day. There is one ringing in your groceries at the checkout counter, sitting next to you on a plane, passing you by on a walk in your neighborhood.  

Embracing a stranger through a conversation, a quick nod, or an intentional experience connects us to the spontaneity and connection of life. I’ve found that saying yes to strangers, in big and small ways alike, expands my worldview, brings me joy, fosters connection to humanity and my community, and makes life fun (I love gathering stories and sharing them!). 

When to say yes 

Saying yes to strangers does not mean saying yes to every stranger. It doesn’t mean I am always attentive to who is around me. It doesn’t mean I put myself in physical danger. It doesn’t mean I give away energy I do not have. It doesn’t mean I bypass my needs or sense of self. 

“Saying yes to strangers does not mean saying yes to every stranger.”

It is a delicate balance of knowing my energy levels (reading if I have capacity to say yes), understanding my safety and surroundings (am I physically safe?), and trusting my gut (listening to my inner guide). 

When all three of these aspects align, I say yes. When all three of these aspects align for both me and a stranger, that’s where the magic happens. 

How to make space for serendipity 

Serendipity doesn’t always come naturally. Routines and schedules often stifle the space that serendipity needs to thrive. I believe making space for serendipity requires a loosening of control and an attentive curiosity of the world around us. Just like learning to trust your gut, serendipity must be cultivated over time. 

Here are some simple ways to make space for serendipity in your life:  

Follow your interests.  

The interests and hobbies you hold dear are likely surrounded by like-minded people. 

Facebook Marketplace is my favorite place to find items for my home. I find myself at strangers’ homes quite often, picking up furniture and art. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I simply pick up my purchase and leave, but last winter, one pickup felt different. A woman in her 60s invited me into her home to see the rest of the furniture she was selling. She told me about her degree in textiles and how she loved refurbishing old furniture and renovating houses. I expressed lots of interest in these things and asked her questions. 

“Ninety-nine percent of the time, I simply pick up my purchase and leave, but last winter, one pickup felt different. “

She said, “I never run into young people who love these things too! Wanna hang out?” 

I did want to hang out! A few weeks later, we went to lunch together and then on a shopping spree, wandering our favorite thrift stores in town. She taught me all about textiles and how to score high-quality pillows and fabrics from the overflowing shelves.

Where do your interests lead you naturally? Let them guide you to a like-minded stranger.

Share about your interests. 

Once you follow your interests, talk about them with strangers! Express your interests wholeheartedly. Not everyone will pick up what you’re putting down. There have been countless scenarios where I’ve blabbered away about a topic I’m passionate about, only to find that the stranger doesn’t get it or doesn’t care. 

“Express your interests wholeheartedly.”

Eventually, a moment will come when it clicks for both you and the stranger. 

On a flight home, I sat in the middle seat reading a novel and writing fervently in my notebook. About 30 minutes to touchdown, I took my headphones out, and the girl next to me asked what I was reading. I showed her and then tested the water, telling her about my passion for writing and stories. A spark ignited between us, and we talked about these things for the rest of the flight. We exchanged numbers and a week later had coffee, then explored a bookstore together. 

Ask questions. 

This may seem like a no-brainer, but the key to getting to the point of saying yes to a stranger requires asking questions. Every scenario I’ve shared so far involved getting to know the stranger before me. By asking questions and getting to know them, I was also gauging whether saying yes to them felt right. Follow your curiosity and ask questions even if it feels awkward at first.

Compliment a stranger. 

This is so simple, but so powerful. You never know where a compliment will lead (and even if it doesn’t lead anywhere, you made someone’s day a little brighter).

I was at a thrift store perusing the dishware section when I heard a voice next to me say, “I love your shoes.” Instead of a simple thank you, I turned to her and said, “Thank you! I love these shoes, I wear them when I’m working events because they’re comfy for a long day on my feet.” 

“But the two of us strangers leaned in — we bubbled about our love for these specific gym shoes (who knew one could be so passionate about a pair of tennies?).”

This could have been received with a simple nod, and each of us going our separate ways. But the two of us strangers leaned in — we bubbled about our love for these specific gym shoes (who knew one could be so passionate about a pair of tennies?) and eventually found out we had careers that put us in overlapping environments. We exchanged numbers.

A few weeks later, she invited me over to her house for coffee, a hike, and to listen to some new music she was making. 

Put down your phone. 

Making space for natural interactions is pivotal to interacting with strangers. Phone use acts as a barrier to social interactions. We’ve all used a quick phone check to fill awkward silences or simply pass the time in a waiting room, on public transit, or standing in line. What if we chose to simply observe our surroundings in those moments?

“Phone use acts as a barrier to social interactions.”

This liminal space leaves room for interactions with strangers. With my phone away, I’ve noticed how much more frequently a stranger will spark a conversation with me.  ✨

Above all, make space where you can. Saying yes to strangers doesn’t have to lead to long dates or hangs. A simple encounter for a few minutes may be all you have time for, but can be the start of a more serendipitous life.

Stevie Rozean is a writer and wedding planner based in Joshua Tree, California. She has a Bachelor of Science in Journalism and writes about her pursuit of a creative life on her Substack, Mixed Multitudes. In her free time you can find her sketching with her friends at art club, curating her home through flea market finds, and exploring the desert.