Walking into a doctor’s office can feel intimidating. Maybe you’re worried about being dismissed, rushed through the appointment, or leaving without real answers. As a functional medicine doctor and family physician, I believe the best patient-doctor relationships are collaborative conversations, not one-sided lectures. And that’s something you should expect from any doctor you work with.

“The best patient-doctor relationships are collaborative conversations, not one-sided lectures.”

Most doctors chose this profession because they genuinely care. We want to see you thrive. I love when my patients at Love.Life come prepared, ask questions, and feel empowered to advocate for their health. I see myself as a partner in their care — someone who listens, provides guidance, and helps them make informed choices. And in my fifteen years of practice, I’ve learned that a truly effective doctor’s visit starts long before you step into the office.

So, how can you make the most of your time with your doctor? Here are five key ways to have a productive, meaningful conversation about your health.

1. Come prepared — and bring more than your symptoms

The best doctor-patient conversations happen when patients arrive with a clear sense of what they want to discuss. If you’ve ever felt like your doctor had one foot out the door and you were so flustered that you couldn’t say everything you needed to, a written list of concerns, symptoms, or questions can help ensure that nothing important gets overlooked—including you.

But preparation isn’t just about listing symptoms — it’s about context. Patients often underestimate how important their story is when it comes to an appointment. When you share context from your lived experience and lifestyle, you provide invaluable clues that can shift the entire conversation.

“When you share context from your lived experience and lifestyle, you provide invaluable clues that can shift the entire conversation.”

I recently saw a patient who had spent three years worrying about her cholesterol. Her last test was done during pregnancy, but no one had ever told her that cholesterol naturally rises during that time due to hormonal shifts. The moment I explained that, she felt immediate relief — what she thought was a problem might not have been one at all. Sometimes, a single piece of context changes everything.

This is why bringing past physician progress notes & labs, a list of current medications and/or supplements (including doses and brands) that you’re taking, and recalling key moments in your health history is so important. The more context you provide, the more effective and meaningful your visit will be.

2. Bring your curiosity and collaborative spirit

Your body is an incredible, complex system, and learning about it should feel empowering. When you’re with your doctor, think of it as a two-way conversation — not just you receiving information, but you actively participating and adding to the discussion.

This means asking:

  • What could be causing my symptoms?
  • Are there alternative treatment options?
  • What’s the long-term plan?
  • How does this recommendation fit into my overall health goals?

This also means being ready to answer questions from your doctor like:

  • When was the last time you felt well?
  • When did you start noticing a change in your health?

One of the most important things to remember is that no piece of information is too small. Sometimes, the one thing you think isn’t relevant ends up being the missing piece of the puzzle.

And if your doctor doesn’t know the answer? A good one will say so—and then help you find resources, consult colleagues, or order further testing.

3. Remember: You’re in the driver’s seat

It’s easy to feel like doctors hold all the power in the room. But you are the expert on your own body.

Your doctor is there to provide guidance, education, and expertise, but ultimately, you get to decide what feels right for you. If something doesn’t sit well—if a treatment plan feels off, if a suggestion doesn’t align with your values, if you need more time to think it through—you can say so.

You are not obligated to:

✔ Immediately agree to a treatment

✔ Take a medication you don’t feel comfortable with

✔ Rush into a decision without fully understanding it

Good doctors respect your autonomy and want to find solutions that feel good for their patients. They want you to feel aligned with your care plan, not pressured into it. If you don’t feel aligned, speak up. This is your health, your body, and your decision.

4. Ask questions — and expect your doctor to ask some, too

No question is too small or “silly” when it comes to your health. If something doesn’t make sense, ask. If a term sounds like medical jargon, ask your doctor to explain it in simpler terms. We get so used to our own language that we sometimes forget to break it down.

“No question is too small or ‘silly’ when it comes to your health.”

At the same time, be open to your doctor’s questions, too. If I ask about your birth history, family medical history, or past experiences with illness, it’s not random—it’s because those details might be directly relevant to what’s happening now. The best doctor-patient conversations are open, curious, and dig deep to uncover the full picture.

Health is rarely about just one thing — it’s a story that unfolds over time. And sometimes, one small detail in your history is what helps everything finally click into place.

5. If you leave frustrated, overwhelmed, or unheard, then it might be time for a new doctor

Not every doctor is the right fit for every patient, and that’s okay. Doctors are human, too — we have off days, and one appointment doesn’t always show the full scope of what we’re capable of. It’s important to give your doctor a chance, especially if it’s a new relationship or if you’ve had negative experiences with other practitioners.

But if you consistently walk away from appointments feeling:

“The right doctor-patient relationship should leave you feeling informed, supported, and seen.”

  • Dismissed or unheard
  • Rushed and unimportant
  • Confused about your next steps
  • Like your concerns weren’t taken seriously

…it might be time to find a doctor who truly listens, respects your concerns, and helps you feel empowered in your care. The right doctor-patient relationship should leave you feeling informed, supported, and seen. ✨

“Come prepared, stay curious, and remember that you have a say in your care.”

The most effective doctor’s visits aren’t just about test results and prescriptions — they’re about conversations that empower you. When you come prepared, stay curious, and remember that you have a say in your care, you create a more meaningful and productive experience.

The best doctors want to listen, collaborate, and support you in making informed decisions about your health. And if you’re not getting that? It’s okay to keep looking until you find a doctor who does.

Because at the end of the day, your health is yours — your voice matters, and you deserve to be heard.

Dr. Jaclyn Tolentino is a Board-Certified Family Physician and the Lead Functional Medicine Physician at Love.Life. Specializing in women’s health and hormone optimization, she has been featured in Vogue, The Wall Street Journal, and Women’s Health. As a functional practitioner and a breast cancer survivor, Dr. Tolentino is dedicated to uncovering the root causes of health challenges, employing a holistic, whole-person approach to empower lasting wellbeing. Follow her on Instagram here for more insights.