Let’s face it, talk therapy has its benefits — but doesn’t always move the needle enough toward lasting happiness by getting to the core of our stuck places. When I first started therapy in my 20s, my therapist used pure talk therapy, speaking to me in a nurturing way. It helped me identify what I was feeling, and was exactly what I needed at the time. However, as I moved into my 30s and 40s, I began to see how unhealed issues from my childhood shaped the romantic partners I chose and led me to over-focus on my job. I experienced the suicide of a few close friends, and while I knew it was affecting me, I didn’t know how to move past it.

“Talk therapy has its benefits — but doesn’t always move the needle enough toward lasting happiness by getting to the core of our stuck places.”

As a psychotherapist, and having learned over the years about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, I now feel confident that it could have helped me heal faster had I tried it when I felt stuck.

Although EMDR has been around since the late ‘80s, it’s been having a moment recently due to the increase in people seeking trauma treatment during the pandemic — and because celebrities have begun sharing their experiences. Recently, Miley Cyrus claimed it saved her life by healing her performance anxiety, and Sandra Bullock credits it with helping her recover from the PTSD she suffered after a gunman broke into her home. Even Prince Harry filmed a live TV EMDR session to heal from the trauma of his mother’s sudden death when he was 12.

What is EMDR exactly?

In 1987, psychology student Francine Shapiro was walking in a park processing an upsetting memory. To distract herself, she started moving her eyes back and forth and noticed that the intensity of the memory decreased. This insight led to her Ph.D. thesis and the development of EMDR’s structured eight-phase protocol. Shapiro believed that unprocessed traumatic memories were behind many mental disorders, and EMDR was designed to reprocess these memories, leading to fewer symptoms and more positive thoughts.

“Many of us carry memories of disturbing events that are hard for our minds to process, and as a result, they get stuck — causing flashbacks, nightmares, or emotional triggers.”

EMDR works by addressing the emotional intensity of past traumatic experiences, whether from “big T” trauma or smaller, consistent challenges (little t trauma). We are a sum total of our life experiences. Many of us carry memories of disturbing events that are hard for our minds to process, and as a result, they get stuck — causing flashbacks, nightmares, or emotional triggers. People with unresolved trauma often cope by shrinking their worlds to avoid anything that might trigger those memories. They may push loved ones away due to anxiety, fear, or frustration. 

EMDR has emerged as a leading treatment for trauma, providing hope and effective results in fewer sessions. Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR doesn’t require repeatedly discussing the painful details of trauma. Instead, it reduces the emotional intensity of memories through bilateral stimulation (BLS), such as eye movements, auditory tones, or tactile pulsers held in each hand. This process desensitizes traumatic memories and reprocesses them so they no longer trigger strong emotional responses. 

It has a strong recommendation by the VA  (U.S Department of Veterans Affairs) as a first-line treatment for PTSD due to the large number of studies that demonstrate its effectiveness. 

What is bilateral stimulation?

Bilateral stimulation acts as an emotionally regulating anchor to the present moment. It mimics the REM sleep phase, which is the body’s natural way of processing daily experiences. However, when we experience trauma, this natural processing can become disrupted, and the emotional charge of the experience remains stuck.

“Bilateral stimulation acts as an emotionally regulating anchor to the present moment.”

BLS helps decrease the fight-or-flight response caused by the amygdala — our brain’s “alarm system” — which is more reactive in individuals with PTSD. By creating a buffer between the traumatic memory and our emotional reaction to it, EMDR enables patients to process memories without being overwhelmed by emotion. Over time, patients are able to hold the memory without being flooded by the intense feelings they once experienced.

The 8 phases of EMDR:

1. Patient History: A thorough history is taken to identify potential traumatic events or memories to “target.”

2. Preparation: EMDR therapy is explained, and expectations and concerns are discussed.

3. Assessment: The initial ‘target memory’ to be processed is explored and noted on a scale of 0 (no disturbance) to 10 (maximum disturbance), including the images, beliefs, feelings, and sensations associated with it. 

4. Desensitization: The BLS process begins while thinking about the memory with a focus on decreasing the disturbance to level 0-1, and then allowing new thoughts, images, and feelings to emerge.

5. Installation: New positive beliefs are strengthened until they feel true.

6. Body Scan: The patient scans their body while holding the new positive belief and the ‘target’ event, and processes any lingering negative thoughts or feelings.

7. Closure: The patient is guided to return to a state of calm in the moment.

8. Re-evaluation: Recently processed memories are discussed at the beginning of each session, and additional memories to process are identified.

Is EMDR right for you?

EMDR can help heal any psychological disorder that involves disturbing memories. Many people seek EMDR therapy without even knowing the root cause of their emotional distress — only that they feel miserable and stuck. A skilled therapist can help identify memories that may be contributing to those feelings. 

“EMDR is now used for a variety of mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and phobias.”

Although originally studied for PTSD, EMDR is now used for a variety of mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and phobias. It’s particularly effective in adults and children for single-incident trauma, such as car accidents or sudden loss, but it’s also used to treat more chronic, complex trauma.

EMDR may not be appropriate for patients who are currently experiencing intense emotional instability due to a recent trauma. For those who are unable to orient to time and space, or who cannot tolerate intense emotions, EMDR should be approached with caution. Active substance abuse should be assessed on a case-by-case basis before beginning EMDR therapy. Individuals with severe psychiatric conditions will be assessed to determine whether their condition is stable enough for the therapy to be effective.

How does EMDR work?

I reached out to two EMDR experts to understand how the therapy helps their patients heal from trauma.

New York-based psychotherapist Emily McGrath explains that when patients are unsure of the emotional turmoil they’re experiencing, she often asks them to imagine Edvard Munch’s 1893 painting “The Scream.” 

“Once you clear the trauma, pathways open up for positive memories and experiences that were previously blocked or hiding behind the trauma.”

– Emily McGrath, LCSW

“I tell them that’s what is going on inside you from whatever traumatic experience you had. You (or some parts of you) are stuck and EMDR can help you get unstuck from that state.” She compares trauma to a stream clogged with branches and debris, preventing the flow of water. “Once you clear the trauma, pathways open up for positive memories and experiences that were previously blocked or hiding behind the trauma,” she says.

McGrath has used EMDR for over 20 years to help patients heal from trauma, including the immediate aftermath of events like suicide and long-standing fears, such as a fear of flying. “If a patient comes to me after a recent traumatic experience, we can use EMDR to help make sure it’s processed and not stored incorrectly. Once someone witnesses a traumatic event, there is a period of time before their brain and nervous system have a chance to absorb it, where the trauma is in an active state and could get lodged in our nervous system.” 

While EMDR is also effective in treating trauma from earlier in life, it may take longer. For example, McGrath treated a patient visiting the US from another country who witnessed a relative’s suicide. Even though this person had never had psychotherapy, a single three-hour session of EMDR allowed them to process the trauma and return to their daily life. They were able to help plan the funeral arrangements instead of being overwhelmed by the disturbing images.

“It’s really hard to talk yourself out of a trauma. Every time you recount it, it can feel re-traumatizing. EMDR is not about talking about the trauma, it’s about reprocessing it.”

– Deanna Gale, LMFT

Deanna Gale, an EMDR-certified therapist in Los Angeles, used EMDR recently to help victims of the LA fires. “It’s really hard to talk yourself out of a trauma. Every time you recount it, it can feel re-traumatizing. EMDR is not about talking about the trauma, it’s about reprocessing it,” she explains. “You are literally going in and doing the job your brain could not do when it happened.”

Gale shares a powerful case of a woman with lifelong digestive issues. During therapy, the woman recalled drinking cleaning solvent at age two, which had been a traumatic event. She was rushed to the hospital, and was lucky she didn’t die, but it was very painful. It took six sessions of EMDR to clear because it was deeply embedded in her unconscious. Every time they started a session, the woman smelled cleaning solvent in the room. Her olfactory memory was releasing the strong smell. Her digestive issues began to heal as the emotional charge associated with that memory was cleared.

Resources for exploring EMDR

While EMDR should always be done with a trained and certified therapist, there are ways to explore its principles on your own. Here are some useful trailheads and resources:

How to find an EMDR therapist:

NIP Treatment Center (New York City): A center at the National Institute for the Psychotherapies Training Institute (NIPTI) offering income-based EMDR therapy, accepts multiple insurance plans in-network and has options for in-person and telehealth.

The EMDR International Association and The EMDR Institute: Both offer resources for finding certified EMDR therapists in your area. 

What to read:

“Getting Past Your Past, Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy” by Francine Shapiro, PhD, is an excellent self-help guide to understanding EMDR and its techniques. 

Tools for independent exploration:

The 4 Elements Relaxation Technique: A stress reduction EMDR technique developed as part of a protocol for recent traumatic events but works well to reduce all types of stress.

The Butterfly Hug Method for Bilateral Stimulation: A self-administered bilateral stimulation exercise, developed by Lucina Artigas during her work with hurricane survivors in Mexico. Step-by-step instructions on how to do bilateral stimulation on yourself while observing your thoughts. ✨

Many people who experience EMDR report no longer being triggered by memories and events that once debilitated them. As McGrath puts it, “It’s common for patients working through negative experiences with EMDR to suddenly remember positive things that had been blocked or hidden behind their trauma.”

Whatever path you choose, I hope you find the healing you seek.

Rebecca Hendrix, LMFT is a Manhattan-based licensed integrative holistic psychotherapist. She specializes in relationship issues, depression, anxiety, grief, and spiritual growth. You can find her on Instagram or learn more on her website.