Women often wear “high-performing” like a badge of honor, priding themselves on maintaining a high level of intensity and adapting to whatever the day throws their way.

I see this type of client every day in my health practice. Accomplished women at the peak of their careers meeting the demands of work, managing childcare, and keeping a household running. 

For most of their lives, striving harder has always been the solution. But then midlife arrives and suddenly the demands start to take a toll. At the exact moment when the world asks more of them, fluctuating hormones start to lower their resilience to stress. 

“For most of their lives, striving harder has always been the solution. But then midlife arrives and suddenly the demands start to take a toll.”

By the time these women come to me, many have hit a plateau. Some have hit a breaking point. Whatever pace they were able to sustain in the past is no longer an option. Even if nothing has changed with their diet or exercise, symptoms like chronic fatigue, brain fog, and weight gain appear one day and don’t want to leave.

What I tell them, without judgment, is some version of this: “You’re trying to perform like an elite athlete, but without doing any of the things they do to get there.” 

The assumption is that more intensity in their training or more restriction in their diets will get them to their goals. But midlife is a new season, and the rules of the game have changed.

New game, new rules

Watch any professional sporting event, and you’re only seeing a small part of what makes these athletes so great. Their performance is actually made possible by the daily investments they make off the field. They aren’t defined by how hard they can go but rather how quickly and completely they are able to recover.

Women in midlife are running a physiological stress load that rivals professional athletic training but without any of the structured recovery that makes elite performance sustainable.

“Women in midlife are running a physiological stress load that rivals professional athletic training but without any of the structured recovery.”

In a way, women over 35 have flipped the performance-to-recovery ratio. For many, the way they are playing has become too much court time and almost no bench. And it’s leading to burnout, chronic fatigue, and a nervous system that struggles to downregulate. 

I read a quote by Allyson Felix, the Olympic track star, who expressed this sentiment perfectly. “I think we live in a time where this kind of mentality of ‘no days off’ and ‘just pushing through’ is almost glorified. What I found is that it’s just not sustainable.”

One of the primary lessons we can learn from elite athletes is not that we need to train harder or do more. It’s that rest and recovery are embedded into their training. It’s not separate from the work but rather the reason why they are able to show up in an optimal state, day after day.

I reached out to Jenna Roth, a movement and breathwork coach at Hume, a Venice-based luxury wellness gym, to talk about what she’s observed from her high-performing clients. According to Roth, much of the frustration comes from the diminishing returns on their workouts, which spill over into their daily lives.

“There’s something missing. There’s something that’s not bridging the gap between her effort and her goals, and it’s generally her recovery,” explains Roth.

“There’s something that’s not bridging the gap between her effort and her goals, and it’s generally her recovery.”

– Jenna Roth, movement and breathwork coach

For high performers, it can be challenging to hear that they have to change course and to accept that they need to do less in order to accomplish more. This season of life requires them to slow down and prioritize their own health before they can help others.

Roth shared, “Productivity does not have to equal movement. There’s so many other systems in your body that can productively recalibrate or refresh when you are resting.”

Instead of choosing a workout that matches the intensity of their stress level, it can be beneficial to go in the opposite direction. Instead of a spinning class at the end of a hard day, a Yin yoga class would allow the nervous system to downregulate. It’s a moment to slow down, ground the body, and breathe more deeply.

It’s not you, it’s your hormones

It’s understandable why it’s so frustrating to put in the effort and not get the reward. When you attribute changes in your metabolism to biology instead of motivation, you’ll be able to adjust in a way to course-correct.

Starting in our 30s, hormonal fluctuations from perimenopause or postpartum cause some unwanted downstream effects that impact just about every organ system in the body. Our bodies start to shift towards a conservation phase:

  • A loss of estrogen can increase inflammation and decrease insulin sensitivity, which impairs our ability to convert glucose (food) into energy. It shows up as symptoms such as achy joints, lingering injuries, and loss of muscle mass.
  • Progesterone is also on the decline and takes some of your stress tolerance with it. It’s known as the calming hormone that quiets the nervous system and acts like a buffer to absorb our grueling schedules. 
  • Postpartum is another phase that can be particularly challenging with sudden a drop in hormones on top of a cycle of disrupted sleep from having a newborn. 

Now add chronic stress and insufficient recovery to the mix. When cortisol levels stay high, the body reads the signal as an unsafe environment and can store excess visceral fat — the belly fat that shifts our body composition.

If we acknowledge that our recovery capacity is slowly diminishing in midlife due to natural biological changes, then we can reframe our need for nourishment and rest as non-negotiable components of our overall routine. So instead of thinking it’s no big deal not to stretch after training or miss a few hours of sleep, we can recognize that in this life stage, our bodies need more recovery to produce the same result.

“In this life stage, our bodies need more recovery to produce the same result.”

“Professional athletes have an off-season, but many of us never stop,” explains Dr. Kevin Davi, a physical therapist and movement specialist. He recommends that we all become “ruthless about our recovery.”

The good news is that unlike an actual athlete who may need aggressive recovery from a heavy training load, midlife women can reap the benefits simply by creating a daily routine that supports the body. This could look like prioritizing lower-intensity movement on high-stress days and building in consistent, intentional rest.

“Midlife women can reap the benefits simply by creating a daily routine that supports the body.”

As an advisor to high-performing women, one of the first things we do is audit their wellness routines. We typically subtract before we add anything — an intentional reallocation of their time, money, and efforts towards what feels good and sustainable.  

It comes with a big mindset shift about what it means to perform.  For example, we need to stop treating a massage or early bedtime as a reward for our hard work. Instead, the investment in recovery becomes the reason we’re able to do the hard work in the first place.

The common mistakes we make

Whether you’re training hard or just living large, many of us have adopted diet and lifestyle habits that no longer serve us in midlife. We are inadvertently working against our biology and not getting a high return on our investment. These are some of the ways we sabotage our own efforts:

Underfueling and training fasted.

Restricting calories or fasting for too long can signal to the body to store fat and break down lean tissue, which is the exact opposite of what we’re working toward.

Treating recovery as separate from training.

Muscle and bone are formed during rest and repair, not during the training session itself. To complete the cycle of breakdown and rebuilding, we need sleep to drive adaptation.

Staying stuck in sympathetic dominance.

A stressful day paired with a high-intensity spinning class can keep the body in a fat conservation mode. It doesn’t allow for a parasympathetic downshift, which means we don’t signal the safety our bodies need for efficient fat burning. 

Sacrificing sleep as a productivity trade-off.

We focus on discipline and productivity to the point where we neglect the rest we need in order to stick with our schedule. By looking through a more informed lens, we can decide when an extra hour of sleep will do more than powering through the 6 a.m. class.

Waiting until you get injured.

In midlife, the name of the game is injury prevention because we repair torn ligaments and bounce back from sprains a little more slowly. Incorporating movement that keeps us mobile and flexible becomes just as important as speed and strength.

Your recovery toolkit

It’s important to think about your daily habits as investments into your overall performance instead of luxuries. Maintaining your energy, strength, and endurance doesn’t need to be complicated or expensive, but if we’re really taking a page from the elite athlete playbook, here are some of the most effective ways to recover:

Sleep

Since we’re constantly exerting ourselves at work or at the gym, the most obvious first step is protecting your sleep. It’s during this time that everything recalibrates — your muscles repair and your brain flushes out metabolic debris. 

Sauna

With the rise of social saunas, this stress-lowering, endorphin-raising activity is the new antidote to a stressful day. You’ll relax and sleep better at night, which contributes to better performance the next day.

Yin yoga

When life feels full, we often chase the endorphin rush with high-intensity activities. We think we can run, spin, or box away our problems. For women in midlife, these can end up being additional stressors. A slow yoga class with a focus on breathwork can be the counterbalance we need to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

Bodywork

Unlike a basic massage, which can release oxytocin and promote relaxation, bodywork focuses on supporting the muscles, soft tissues, and alignment while reducing pain and risk of injury. It’s worth working with a movement specialist whose goal is to get the body moving in a functional way.

Wellness technology

This is the area where we are literally borrowing devices used by elite athletes to reduce muscle tension and improve blood flow. The technology is now available for those training too hard or even for those who are sitting too much. 

I asked Steph Smith, VP of Marketing for Hyperice, which recovery tools were the most popular with their female clientele and how they were incorporated into routines. She had this to say: “You brush your teeth every day and you focus on hygiene for your mouth. Why don’t you have that same kind of hygiene for your muscles and your small joints?” 

Originally designed for NBA players, Hyperice developed their products to be easily incorporated throughout the day, no matter your schedule or level of intensity.

Massage guns

Women love starting their day with this percussion massage gun to loosen muscles and decrease any stiffness. Also, it’s an effective tool to use at the end of a day to unwind.

Heat and massage wrap

Customers report wearing this neoprene heated vibration wrap while working at their desk to increase blood flow and relieve back pain. 

Normatec compression legs

Hands down one of the best rapid recovery tools after a long flight or a long run, these air compression legs increase circulation and reduce swelling. Pro-tip: Wear them when you are watching your favorite show for some multi-tasking relief. (Check out our editor’s review for more details.) ✨

Davi reminds us that athletes are very attuned to their physical bodies and mental state. To help us achieve the same awareness, he recommends adding a 10-minute body check each morning. It can be a simple series of stretches to understand how your body feels and, more importantly, how it moves. 

He points out that being able to deadlift your bodyweight is great, but not if you can’t easily walk up the stairs without pain. 

“Being able to deadlift your bodyweight is great, but not if you can’t easily walk up the stairs without pain.”

Slowing down doesn’t seem to be an option for any of the high-performing women I know. The reframe is that it doesn’t have to be. As Davi puts it, the goal is to be “ruthless about recovery.” 

Which, in the end, is just asking your body how it’s doing and finally listening for the answer.

Celia Chen is a certified health optimization coach, brand consultant and founder of Chenessa, an advisory that offers private coaching, and corporate workshops on menopause, metabolism, and longevity. Follow her on Substack and Instagram for more wellness insights.