If you’ve had a pet, you know how much they can affect your home not only in tangible ways, like mess, noise, and financial demands, but also in the esoteric ones. Animals have an incredible capacity to shift the energy of a space, alter relationships, and — cliché as it sounds — transform lives. In an ideal situation, they do these things for the better. But sometimes, when an animal isn’t the right match for a home, it can cause tremendous stress and heartbreak, more than some folks may anticipate.

“When an animal isn’t the right match for a home, it can cause tremendous stress and heartbreak, more than some folks may anticipate.”

That’s why many shelters now have a team of animal adoption counselors, staff who are trained to give you a rundown on an animal’s needs, take into consideration your personality, wants, and lifestyle, and help you choose the right fit for you. To people who are used to swinging by the shelter, picking a cute dog, and hitting the road 20 minutes later, this can feel excessive. But all it takes is one devastated person returning a pet to see why these conversations matter. 

So, I’m proud to work as a counselor in this field — and I want to share what I’ve learned with as many folks as possible. I’d love a world where every animal and their humans are a fantastic match. If you feel the same, I invite you to read these tips for mindfully choosing your next pet.

Give the adoption process time 

We see lots of folks come into the shelter who are gung-ho about taking home an animal that day. I get why they feel that way! Once you’ve decided you’re going to get a new pet, it can feel impossible to wait. But the reality is that animals are coming into and out of the shelter all of the time, and the right one for you won’t always be there the first time you look. I regularly see guests convince themselves to take home an animal that feels like a bit of a “compromise.” Not only does that cast a pall on their experience, but often those animals are returned to the shelter days or weeks later.

“Once you’ve decided you’re going to get a new pet, it can feel impossible to wait.”

A better way to approach the process is to develop a mindset of “we’re going to start searching for our next pet.” (Kind of like how people say they’re trying for a baby.) These things take time, and framing it as a process rather than an event can help set expectations. When you think of it this way, it will feel natural (and enjoyable!) to visit your local shelter regularly. I also recommend getting to know the staff and sharing what you’re looking for. They’ll likely keep you in mind when new animals come in. 

Be honest about your situation 

It can be surprising to learn that different shelters and rescues have varied policies about adopting animals. Some — like the one I work for — have an open adoption policy, which means the adoption process is less of an interview and more of a conversation. Our goal is to get an animal into your home and reduce barriers to making that happen.

“Different shelters and rescues have varied policies about adopting animals.”

Other organizations have a more formal or selective process, where you go through extensive screening before you can take an animal home. Because of the latter, some guests feel they need to present an ideal version of themselves or be less-than-honest about their lifestyles and needs. But we’re not here to judge you. We want to make sure you get the animal that’s the right fit for you. We can only do that if you provide accurate information, like how much time you’ll have to spend with the animal. Or how much enrichment and exercise you’ll truly be able to provide. 

Bring whoever will be around the animal with you 

Animals are funny: Sometimes they don’t like a person simply because they’re tall. Or because they’re the same gender as a person who mistreated them in the past. Other animals just don’t do well with kiddos running around. That’s why we recommend bringing everyone who will frequently be around the animal with you when you come to adopt.

“Animals are funny: Sometimes they don’t like a person simply because they’re tall.”

It’s important to see if everyone gels, and it helps us as counselors get a feel for your energy and compatibility. The majority of animals in our care come to us as strays, meaning we have limited background information about their personalities. So, usually the only way to see how they’ll do with a certain group of people (like toddlers, or someone who uses a mobility aid) is to test it out. (Safely, of course!)

Listen to our warnings about kids and/or other pets 

That said, sometimes an animal comes to us as an owner return or surrender. In those cases, we can actually get some background information about how the animal does with kids or other pets. We also take detailed notes about the animal’s behavior in our care, like how they react to seeing another dog or when a little one wanders up to their kennel.

All of this is considered when we add warnings to the animal’s profile — like “no other dogs in the home” or “no kids in the home.” So, please, take these restrictions seriously. We all tend to think we’re the exception to the rule, but this is one case where you’ll want to do things by the book.

Be prepared for the animal to have health issues 

Not every animal in the shelter will have a health issue, but the majority do. The conditions are not always serious; many animals have tummy troubles, low-grade dental disease, or skin sensitivity, for example. Others will have something that requires more attention.

“Many animals have tummy troubles, low-grade dental disease, or skin sensitivity, for example.”

A lot of adopters get spooked when they find out an animal has something “wrong” with them, and that’s understandable. But our veterinary teams are obligated to note any condition they find. Think of it this way: If you went to the doctor and had them list every quirk about your body, you’d likely have a bit of a medical history too. 🙂 We all would! 

Even an animal who is in “perfect” health when you adopt is likely to require some type of medical intervention in the future. So think about what you’re willing to take on — and explore your options for pet insurance — but try not to worry about a few manageable conditions.

Understand that an animal will never be “themselves” in the shelter

Animal shelters have compassionate teams who work hard to make the animals in their care comfortable. Even so, these critters are facing an incredibly upsetting situation. They’re in a new place, away from their previous families, surrounded by other animals they don’t know. They’re taking in a barrage of unfamiliar scents and sounds, eating new food, learning new rules for behavior, and meeting lots of strangers. So an animal will never truly be “themselves” while they’re there.

“They’re taking in a barrage of unfamiliar scents and sounds, eating new food, learning new rules for behavior, and meeting lots of strangers.”

We can’t expect them to be under that much stress. For that reason, your new little buddy will likely act a little different when they get home. Hopefully — eventually — for the better. We can’t always predict how their personalities will shift, but please have grace with them through that process. A good rule of thumb is to give them a full three months to settle in and feel comfortable showing their true personalities. 

Come prepared to listen and learn 

Even the most somber adult can get giddy when it’s time to adopt a new pet. And honestly, we love that! The joy is contagious. That said, we know the excitement can also make it hard to listen. Many folks want to speed through the counseling process and get to snuggling animals, but it’s vital to slow down and hear the information that your counselor is sharing. We’re telling you important things about how to make sure your new bestie lives a long, happy, and healthy life. 

“We’re telling you important things about how to make sure your new bestie lives a long, happy, and healthy life.”

We also encounter a lot of folks who are confident they don’t need advice on their prospective pet. (If I had a dollar for every time someone dismissed me by telling me they’ve owned dogs or cats their whole lives, I’d be rich.) The reality is that owning five or six animals throughout your lifetime has provided you with a lot of fantastic information, but not all of it. If you’d only met a handful of people — ever — would you feel confident in your knowledge of all of humanity? Of course not! Just like people, animals are individuals, replete with their own personalities and needs. So let us make your life easier by sharing that information with you.

We may also be working to gently debunk some common misinformation you’ve picked up — like that guinea pigs and rabbits are good first pets for kids, for example. It’s part of our job to help you take home the animal that’s right for you, and that may mean gently guiding you away from the 10-week-old kitten or the super-active husky if they’re not the right fit. ✨

As a society, we understand something now that we didn’t a few generations ago: Pets are members of our family. Many people are even choosing them over kids, so it makes sense to heavily consider which furry companion you take home. Your local shelter staff is there to help you decide. And we promise, you can never ask too many questions. 🙂

“We understand something now that we didn’t a few generations ago: Pets are members of our family.”

And while I’m on the subject of staff, I’d be remiss not to mention how hard they work. On any given day, shelter employees will witness sick or deceased pets and mourning owners. They’ll contend with fractious animals, clean up various bodily fluids, and generally work very hard for very little pay. (I once read that working at a shelter is like working at a retail store, a hospital, and a hotel all in one. It’s so true!)

Unfortunately, they’re also met with contentious guests who let their emotions get the best of them. So when you go to adopt your next pet, be sure to thank your shelter staff, write a positive review online, or simply give them your full attention. They’ll be thrilled to help you take home the perfect animal for you.

Nicole Ahlering is an animal adoption counselor at her local humane society. She’s also a writer. (So basically, everything she wanted to be when she grew up!) When she’s not working, she’s hanging out with her kitties and her partner, drinking iced espresso, or reading something non-fiction.