“So when does she show up?” the interviewer inquired. A glow fell over the artist’s face, like she was about to share a secret. 

“Usually when I hear the crowd, when I put on my stilettos,” she said, a smile escaping her lips. “Like the moment right before when you’re nervous and that other thing kind of takes over for you…Then Sasha Fierce appears, and my posture and the way I speak and everything is different.” 

In this 2008 interview with Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé shared how the person her fans see on stage isn’t entirely her. While she considers herself “more reserved,” Beyoncé admitted that it’s really her alter ego, Sasha Fierce, who is the fearless star belting “Crazy in Love” and nailing choreography alongside her backup dancers. “[Sasha] can do things that I can’t do when I’m in rehearsal,” Beyoncé went on. “I mean, I can try, but it just doesn’t happen.”

“Beyoncé admitted that it’s really her alter ego, Sasha Fierce, who is the fearless star belting ‘Crazy in Love’ and nailing choreography alongside her backup dancers.”

Beyoncé isn’t the only performer who’s used an alter ego to ignite their work and come into their full potential. Kobe Bryant, David Bowie, Prince, Lady Gaga, and countless other artists, athletes, and creators have called on alter egos to access the confidence they needed to pull off a performance, a winning play, or a creative risk. 

According to Todd Herman, author of “The Alter Ego Effect,” this isn’t a trick of delusion or faking it till you make it. Rather, it’s a means of creating “some distance between how you currently see yourself and how you’d like to perform.”

While we may not be entertaining stadiums of fans, we all have stages we step onto every day. It might be running a business, going on a date with someone new, having a difficult conversation with a friend, or asking for a raise. These are the stages where we’re met with opportunity, but oftentimes, they are the very moments we sell ourselves short, play it safe, and downplay our true worth. 

“While we may not be entertaining stadiums of fans, we all have stages we step onto every day.”

In the same way performers tap into alter egos to aid their personal evolution, we can, too. 

Read on to discover how an alter ego can forever change how you face the challenges that matter most, unlocking a new confidence and, as a result, transforming the trajectory of your life — and walk through the steps of building an alter ego for yourself.

What’s an alter ego?

Alter egos may sound like a gimmick, but the idea isn’t new. The idea was once used by philosopher Cicero in the first century and refers to the “second I” or “the opposite of a personality.” An alter ego is the secret self within that holds the traits we want to exude but feel we lack on the surface, or perhaps don’t feel entitled to. 

“An alter ego is the secret self within that holds the traits we want to exude but feel we lack on the surface, or perhaps don’t feel entitled to.”

Our struggle to access these traits isn’t because we weren’t born with them. Instead, we feel unqualified to express these qualities because of the stories we were conditioned to tell ourselves. Research suggests that the narrative we tell ourselves plays a role in creating the self-limiting beliefs that shape how we see ourselves and how we interact with the world. 

Maybe instances growing up led you to believe you were a difficult student. You needed too much instruction to get by. You didn’t catch on as quickly as other kids, and therefore, you began to see yourself as unintelligent and started perpetuating that story in your mind. Today, you might hesitate to speak up in team meetings, discount your ideas, or second-guess yourself. 

You freeze when you step out onto the stage of your career because the story you’re telling is, “I’m not smart, so people won’t take me seriously.” In turn, you don’t take yourself seriously and subconsciously communicate to those around you: “I’m not someone worth taking seriously.” As Herman shares, “The way that you associate with yourself is how the rest of the world associates with you.” 

But this self-judgment isn’t rooted in reality. It does not reflect your true capabilities. You likely have stellar ideas and a unique perspective, and there are split-second windows of opportunity — moments where you could speak up, share a thought, or command a room — but your self-limiting beliefs are blocking you from taking that plunge. 

“What makes an alter ego a game-changing tool is that it lives outside the bounds of those self-limiting beliefs.”

What makes an alter ego a game-changing tool is that it lives outside the bounds of those self-limiting beliefs. 

Your alter ego is not affected by what makes you squirm or shrink. They don’t carry your history, so they don’t subscribe to your insecurities. They can take the wheel in the moments you need another version of you to step into the limelight. If your alter ego isn’t triggered by the same things you are, the path to showing up differently is suddenly cleared in a way it’s never been before.

How do alter egos work?

The notion that “another self” can exist inside may sound bizarre or even alarming, but in reality, we possess and employ multiple selves all the time. 

You bring a different version of yourself to game night with friends than you do Sunday brunch with the in-laws. You walk differently into a business meeting than you do shuffling to your fridge in sweats. And you wear your “parent hat” when playing with your kids and your “networking hat” at corporate events. You’re the same you in all of these contexts, but a different side takes charge.

“You wear your ‘parent hat’ when playing with your kids and your ‘networking hat’ at corporate events. You’re the same you … but a different side takes charge.”

None of these versions are inauthentic. They’re all true layers of the multi-dimensional human you are. This is what psychologists call self-complexity, and it’s what gives us the ability to adapt to a situation, calling on different sides of ourselves as needed.

The tool of an alter ego goes a step further, where, as Herman puts it, “we’re consciously and intentionally choosing to bring the best version of our ‘selves’ forward for the different roles we play in life.”

What gives the strategy of alter egos its edge is a psychological shift known as self-distancing. 

Self-distancing is taking an intentional step outside your current situation and swapping your “typical self-immersed perspective” — the one that carries those self-limiting beliefs — for a non-first-person point of view. In doing so, you achieve space between you and the moment at hand, giving you a broader, more regulated perspective. When paired with the strategy of an alter ego, you get what’s known as The Batman Effect, a term coined during an experiment by Professor of Cognitive Development Stephanie Carlson.

In the experiment, two sets of children were given a frustrating task. One set was instructed to complete the task as themselves, with their typical, self-immersed perspective. The other set was instructed to be a character, in this case Batman, and work to open the box as him. Children were even given capes to help embody the superhero. 

What the study revealed was that the children who displayed the most emotional self-control and persistence, regardless of age, were the ones who thought of themselves as Batman. 

“The children who displayed the most emotional self-control and persistence, regardless of age, were the ones who thought of themselves as Batman.”

When a participant became frazzled or impatient with the challenge, instead of giving up, they considered what Batman would do. This suggests that self-distance, in Professor Carlon’s words, “provides the window of opportunity for reflection to come in and take hold.” 

That same window of reflection is available to us when we enlist the help of an alter ego. It provides a brief moment of distance, helping detach us from the limiting self-narratives that historically trip us up. 

Why alter egos create authentic growth

You might be wondering, isn’t an alter ego just faking it or being delusional? 

That’s a natural question. It could feel inauthentic to try to step into a set of traits you’re unfamiliar with, especially when self-limiting beliefs are so ingrained they’re simply our norm. 

But consider how Internal Family Systems, or “parts therapy,” suggests that there are multiple sub-personalities living within us. These parts make up our whole selves but play individual roles in our emotional and physical survival. 

In the strategy of an alter ego, we get the opportunity to create an intentional framework for those buried, hidden parts to come forth and take center stage. 

Creating an alter ego isn’t fabricating a false identity out of thin air. You’re not “pretending to be” someone totally separate from you. Rather, you’re using your unbridled imagination to get honest about the parts of you that, because of the negative stories you’ve been conditioned to tell yourself, you disqualified yourself from expressing a long time ago. 

“Creating an alter ego isn’t fabricating a false identity out of thin air. You’re not ‘pretending to be’ someone totally separate from you.”

Using an alter ego is a pathway to integrating the qualities you want by creating repetitive, safe contexts for those parts to emerge. Then, over time, you won’t have to consciously “tap into” your created persona. Those traits will have simply become who you are because it’s who you’ve always been. 

Herman notes in his book, “A lot of my clients initially talk about how their Alter Egos protected them, only to later realize that their Alter Ego is actually who they always were and who they had always wanted to be.”

Alter egos give those unseen parts of you a playful permission slip to emerge. 

Five steps to creating an alter ego (with examples!)

Step 1: Where do I shrink? 

Identify the areas where you know you have potential to show up more fully, but when the time comes, you shrink. 

Herman suggests expanding this question by asking, “What areas of my life feel the most frustrating or simply don’t feel fun?” These are the areas he calls your “fields of play.” They’re the stages you walk onto in daily life “where your performance needs a boost.” These are the moments where you can use your alter ego to change the trajectory of how these scenarios go down. 

“These are the moments where you can use your alter ego to change the trajectory of how these scenarios go down.”

Maybe your voice shakes during a tough conversation with your partner. Perhaps your confidence wobbles when you sit down to start a new project. Or maybe you loathe talking with clients, second-guessing everything you say in a call.

The frustration you experience in these moments is a telling sign. It indicates there’s untapped potential to be realized. Getting clear on what these areas are for you will do wonders in getting the ball rolling on designing your alter ego. 

For example:

The places I shrink? Navigating conflict, feeling unqualified in the work I love, and managing my team with assertiveness and healthy boundaries. 

These are challenges I historically struggle with, places where my self-limiting beliefs deal the hardest punch. And I could take a deep dive into tracing back the origin stories of these messages (and boy, have I), but knowing where a pattern comes from is only half the process. Learning how to live outside that old framework is the other, and that’s where the tool of an alter ego comes in.

Ask yourself:

  • What are the moments that make my knees quake? 
  • When do I hesitate, get small, or back off when I wish I wouldn’t? 
  • What places in my life do I want to show up more fully? 

Step 2: Who do I have a crush on?

Now it’s time to start brainstorming who your alter ego will be. 

Consider who you admire and have a platonic (or real) crush on. This could be people you know personally, artists, performers, creatives, historical figures, fictional characters, or even animals — anyone or anything you find enthralling. Check out Todd Herman’s inspiration list to get your wheels turning. 

“This could be people you know personally, artists, performers, creatives, historical figures, fictional characters, or even animals — anyone or anything you find enthralling.”

Ask yourself:

  • What is it about them that inspires me? 
  • What traits do they possess that leave me dazzled? 
  • What’s that X-factor that makes them so mesmerizing?

Without self-editing, brain-dump your thoughts. This step of the process is powerful because we’re drilling down to identify the emotional component of why we admire the people we do. That’s the crux here — if it doesn’t spark an emotional response, keep digging. We haven’t gotten to the root yet. 

For example:

My crushes: 

  • My mentor from my early twenties because of her resilience, awe-inspiring capabilities, and overall brilliance.
  • The artist Jacob Collier because of his immunity to the fear of failure, playful approach to creativity, and wild curiosity. 
  • Media personality Brittany Broski because of the way she finds endless ways to flirt with life, how she’s intellectually curious and astute while also being silly and approachable, and how she makes people feel so at ease, delighted in, and wanted in her presence. 

Step 3: Give them a little color

You have an outline of your alter ego. Now it’s time to paint inside the lines. 

Start humanizing your alter ego by giving them a name, a vibe, and an overall persona. Again, leave the self-editing at the door and let your imagination run! 

“Leave the self-editing at the door and let your imagination run!”

Journal, bubble map, or use a voice note on your phone to explore the following questions. Consider creating a Pinterest board dedicated to your alter ego’s aesthetic to visually capture their persona. 

Ask:

  • What’s their name?
  • How do they dress?
  • How do they talk to themselves?
  • How do they carry themselves into a room?
  • What do people notice when they interact with them?
  • What do they insist on making time for?
  • How do they respond in moments of conflict or criticism?
  • How do they take care of themselves?
  • What are their top values?

For example: 

My alter ego’s top traits:

  1. Curious
  2. Playful
  3. Fearless
  4. Charming
  5. In LOVE with life

Their name: Paige Carlyle 

How they dress: Black tights, big leather boots, sexy, acrylic nails, casual, baggy, comfortable. Effortless. Cool. Colorful. Weird combination of accessories that somehow work.

How they talk to themselves: With celebration and admiration and tender care. She listens to her gut immediately; she trusts her body; she’s in tune with what’s happening inside her; she’s honest with herself. She’s delighted to meet her needs and unapologetic in how she does it. 

How they carry themselves: Upright. She walks into a room with open, outward-facing energy. She has a way of making everyone she talks to feel instantly and genuinely liked. She can banter. Talking with her is FUN. She takes no responsibility for others that she hasn’t consciously consented to. 

Step 4: Choose a totem

Choose a symbolic item you can wear or hold in the moments you want to tap into your alter ego. 

Like Beyoncé with her stilettos, your totem is a physical anchor that lets your brain know you’re switching gears and embodying your alter ego. This can be a ring you spin on your finger, a stone you carry, a pair of glasses, a certain color lipstick, or even a mantra or stance you take, like putting your hands on your hips. 

“Like Beyoncé with her stilettos, your totem is a physical anchor that lets your brain know you’re switching gears.”

Use this anchor to activate your alter ego, consciously granting it center stage in the moments you want to embody them. 

Step 5: Play around

You’ve identified your “fields of play,” your alter ego is mapped and personified, and you have your totem at the ready. Now it’s time to get comfortable with your alter ego and play around with some low-stakes scenarios. 

“Get comfortable with your alter ego and play around with some low-stakes scenarios.”

To get a feel for what it’s like to tap into your alter ego, try channeling them while you:

Grocery shop: How would they walk? What food would they choose to nourish their bodies with? How would they engage the cashier? 

Get ready for work: What outfit would they put together? How would they do their hair or makeup? What would their self-talk sound like at the start of the day? 

Take a walk: What would they stop and notice? Would they say hi to passersby? How would they carry themselves? 

Start a new project: How would they map the work? What kind of confidence would they have going into it? How would they feel taking on the new challenge? 

Set your schedule: What would they prioritize on their calendar? How honest are they with their capacity? What’s the most important thing they would insist on making time for? 

The more you engage with your alter ego in your everyday life, the easier it’ll be to embody them in the moments you need them most. Next time you’re facing a challenge where you need a boost of confidence, grab your totem, take a breath, and consciously let your alter ego take the wheel. 

Then, see what happens. 

Nothing is out of reach

Beyoncé used her alter ego, Sasha Fierce, to make up for the gap in her own confidence early on in her career, but she spoke to her full integration years later, saying, “The thing that’s interesting is I don’t need Sasha Fierce anymore, because I’ve grown, and I’m now able to merge the two.”

Sasha Fierce was a shortcut to the bold, commanding, and fearless Beyoncé within. Sasha was never a substitute but rather a permission slip for Beyoncé to embrace who she’s always been inside. 

“Sasha was never a substitute but rather a permission slip for Beyoncé to embrace who she’s always been inside.”

While many of us will never need an alter ego to face the pressures of performing on a global stage, we all have moments in life that make our palms sweaty, knees wobble, and voices crack. The beauty is we don’t have to step onto our stages alone.

Calling on the help of a self-assured, steady self within could make all the difference in how we show up for ourselves and others when those moments come knocking. An alter ego could be the tool that empowers us to take the risks we know will not only build the lives we want but will help us become who we long to be — the person already within, waiting to emerge.

Cheyanne Solis is a copywriter relieving entrepreneurs to rest and invest more in what they love. She writes on practical wellness and mindful productivity from the perspective of sustainable work-life balance. Explore her work and connect here.