As a freelance writer, it’s no surprise that my concept of a dream job was built by 2000s rom-coms. They came before the girlboss era — and probably inspired it —  with their statement heels, work parties, and glamorous media jobs. A dream job to me, was wearing diamonds at a work party like Andie Anderson in “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.” So when I landed a competitive job in New York City at a world-famous literary magazine, I waited for the dream life promised by the dream job to materialize in front of me.

“When I landed a competitive job in New York City at a world famous literary magazine, I waited for the dream life promised by the dream job to materialize in front of me.”

Then reality sunk in. The job was intellectually stimulating, inspiring, and I was surrounded by people I admired. However, life in New York on a media salary is not what “Sex and the City” makes it out to be. And even if there were glamorous parties, I was too tired from my long days to attend them.

The experience made me realize that my priorities were not prestige. I valued my life outside of work: How much time did I spend with my friends? How much freedom did I have to travel to see my family all over the world? And how much energy did I have at the end of the day to live in the city, rather than crawling into bed, a husk of myself — just to get up and do it all again?

This realization came with both relief and fear. I had admitted to myself that the dream job wasn’t my dream job. But what came next? To find out, I had to redefine my priorities and come up with something new.

To my shock and horror, the media market had somehow gotten even harder to break into. Faced with the obstacle of an impenetrable industry, I had to get creative. Instead of throwing out 100 resumes and burning myself out for little promise of return, I decided to focus my energy with intention.

Now, I have a job that is hard to explain to my friends and family. But when I talk about work, I don’t talk about what I do or my title, I talk about what it lets me do: See my family, work with smart people. and, in my free time, write.

“Now, I have a job that is hard to explain to my friends and family. But when I talk about work, I don’t talk about what I do or my title, I talk about what it lets me do.”

Wth a tough job market in almost all industries right now, many people are looking for jobs — but too few of them are looking for alignment. Speaking to career experts, I learned that it’s possible to find aligned careers that give you the life you need. But most of us hold ourselves back by never looking for them.

“[People think] job searching is all about luck,” says Janel Abrahami, Career Coach and creator of Pivot With Purpose, a program to help women find a career that fits. “It’s about strategy. The more intentional you are, the more ‘luck’ you create.”

Whether you’re pivoting from an old role, or already in the midst of the job search process, here is how to be more intentional in your job search to find a more aligned role.

What does an aligned role look like?

The first step to landing an aligned role is to define what alignment looks like for you. “Alignment doesn’t mean perfect — it means you’re in the right place for this season of your career,” says Abrahami.

The key to finding alignment is intentionality. To be intentional about the process, you have to be clear about the result you want. According to Abrahami, an aligned career is one where seeing a path for growth excites you, and where you feel satisfied more often than drained.

Just imagine that for a second — feeling excited about your career journey. Let’s be real: Nobody loves their job every day. There are always tedious tasks to complete or hard stretches to endure. But there’s a difference between navigating hard days and feeling hopeless in your career. The latter is a recipe for resentment that bleeds into the rest of your life.

“There’s a difference between navigating hard days and feeling hopeless in your career.”

Job satisfaction can influence how you feel in the other corners of your day. A recent survey showed that women are significantly less satisfied at their jobs, especially regarding their potential for future growth compared to men. So many of us are taught to chase titles rather than alignment or satisfaction. We’ve even normalized the idea that job satisfaction is so rare, that you shouldn’t even try.

Yet, with how much of our lives we spend working — from time to emotional energy — an aligned role can transform your whole life.

“Alignment happens when your career supports both your professional goals and personal well-being,” says Erica Anderson Rooney, HR Executive and Founder of HER Collective. “And never forget that your job title, your paycheck, and what people think of you, never define your worth.”

So stuck you can’t imagine what that would look like? Practice this journaling exercise.

First, write down what you need your job to provide. This could include:

  • Enough money for your necessities and responsibilities
  • Healthcare benefits for you and your family
  • A schedule that fits with your childcare needs

Then, write down the nice to haves that would make a difference in your day-to-day satisfaction, which might look like:

  • Wellness benefits like mental health support
  • Remote or in-person work, depending on your preference
  • Opportunities for travel — or no travel, so you can spend time with family

Lastly, write down how you want to feel in your job, and the factors that would contribute to it. These things won’t be listed in a job description, but will factor into your search and decision. This might look like:

  • Feeling supported = a team with room for growth
  • Feeling inspired = purpose-driven company for a cause you care about
  • Feeling valued = compensation that matches your skills and a title to match

Use these lists to guide your search. When you see a role, don’t just check if your experience matches their requirements. Check if it meets your list.

How to work with a scarcity mindset

The job search is an extremely personal endeavor, so it comes with a lot of strong emotions, including fear and doubt. This is never more true than when you have financial responsibilities like dependents or debt that can feel restrictive for your search. But alignment doesn’t mean abandoning security or practicality. The realities of our lives guide the choices that we can make; sometimes these conditions can even inspire creativity. Knowing your non-negotiables helps you be even more clear on the job you want.

“The realities of our lives guide the choices that we can make; sometimes these conditions can even inspire creativity.”

“I teach my clients that we must first establish our basic needs: Safety and security. You have to have a position where you can feed your family and keep the roof over your head,” says Rooney. Letting your responsibilities guide you is different than letting your fear guide you.

What if you take a job out of fear or desperation and then find yourself back in the same position a year later? Behind many of our fear-based decisions, career-related or not, is a scarcity mindset.

“The scarcity mindset in a job search shows up as believing that there are only a limited number of ‘good’ jobs, that you must take whatever you can get,” says Abrahami. “This can lead to desperation — applying to every job in sight, taking rejection too personally, or staying stuck in a role that no longer serves you because you fear there’s nothing better out there.”

I’ve experienced this: The desperate dash to compete for any role that matched my experience. But this is a recipe for burnout. Applying to job after job and being ghosted or rejected can take a toll on you emotionally and mentally. It can keep you stuck and sad.

“There are countless ways to build a fulfilling career. Your skills and experiences are valuable, and the right opportunities exist — you just need to position yourself to find them.”

– Janel Abrahami, career coach and creator of Pivot With Purpose

The solution: Cultivating an abundance mindset. “There are countless ways to build a fulfilling career. Your skills and experiences are valuable, and the right opportunities exist — you just need to position yourself to find them,” says Abrahami.

An abundance mindset starts with self-esteem. When you approach your career from a place of self-confidence, knowing exactly why your work should be valued, you won’t take roles that don’t value you as much as you do.

Make another list, this time filled with your skills and achievements. This shouldn’t sound like a section on your resume, but rather a pep talk about your work self. Talk to your work self like you talk to your friends. You wouldn’t let your friends settle for less than they deserve, right?

“Challenge the idea that boldness and security are mutually exclusive, says Rooney. “Taking calculated risks — such as negotiating better pay, seeking remote work options, or pursuing leadership roles — can provide both stability and growth.”

After you’ve done all this inner work, how do you actually take steps to find a position that fits? Abrahami offers these steps to finding an aligned career:

Define your non-negotiables

Your list of “dream job” qualities will help you define your non-negotiables. From the basic needs to the culture fits, let them guide you on your journey like a lighthouse, keeping you from straying too far from what you know you want. 

“A non-negotiable might be flexibility of when and where you do your work, or if you go into the office or not,” says Rooney. “It might be that you work for a diverse leadership team. Prioritize what you need, not just what is expected, and remind yourself that security also comes from financial and career empowerment.”

Clarify your strengths

You know what you bring to the table. But are you communicating that effectively? When you tell people who you are, you attract the opportunities that are meant for you. 

“Understand your skills and how to position yourself effectively. Your resume, LinkedIn, and networking conversations should tell a cohesive story,” says Rooney. So spruce up your LinkedIn. Ask yourself what the version of you who has the dream job would say about herself. 

If you’re worried about changing industry, coming back to work after a break, or pivoting after a plateau, don’t be discouraged.

“Changing careers doesn’t mean starting over,” says Andahami. “You’re carrying transferable skills with you. Your experience is an asset.”

Don’t underestimate yourself. Curate a professional profile that reflects your best self. Consider making a website, sprucing up your social media, and changing how you talk about yourself to other people. 

Strategic networking

Rooney advises job seekers to “grow and cultivate relationships every day so that when you need to call on them, you can.”

To do this strategically, ask to attend events that someone with your dream job would attend — both work events and social events. Talk to people, find out what they do, and reciprocate. Speak about yourself with confidence in the rooms you want to be in.

A mentor is a great way to expand your network. they can connect you to new opportunities and new people. They can also help you cultivate the skills you need to perform when you’re in your aligned role.

Research and targeting

“Focus on companies and roles that align with your values and strengths,” says Abrahami. But this doesn’t mean waiting until you meet every criterion on the job description.

“Try ‘safe’ discomfort,” says Rooney. “Say yes to stretch opportunities. Take on a freelance project, join an industry group, or speak at a small event. Growth comes from action.”

Interview with intention

Ever been in an interview where you were asked: “Do you have any questions for us?” That is the chance to break out your non-negotiables list to ask if your potential role meets them!

“Ask the right questions in interviews — what’s the leadership style? How does the company support growth?” says Abrahami. This will not only help to ensure long-term happiness in the role, it will also improve the interview process since it is a conversation, after all!

Negotiate and choose wisely

It can be tempting to choose the first role you get. But a scarcity mindset will leave you unsatisfied in the future.

“Don’t let fear push you into a job that doesn’t fully fit. You deserve alignment, not just a paycheck,” says Abrahami.

If you need to accept an opportunity to meet your needs, by all means, take it. But keep planting seeds to find an aligned role. Aligned careers can take time to come to you.


Even a role that’s perfect on paper might pass you by — but that’s part of the process. Each application strengthens your job search skills as well as your resilience muscle.

“Reframe setbacks as learning opportunities and use them to refine your approach. Keep track of small wins, whether it’s networking progress or skills gained.”

Affirmations like “rejection is redirection” can be tedious to hear in the midst of a long job search, but getting the role you deserve is worth the effort. Confidence and self-esteem take you half of the way, patience takes you the rest. Remember, any rejections should not put a damper on your self-worth — or worse, make you feel unworthy of the job you want.

“Confidence and self-esteem take you half of the way, patience takes you the rest.”

Fear of rejection is one of the things that keeps us unsatisfied, settling for less, and firmly in our comfort zone. Rooney calls these “sticky floors” — defining them as “the limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors that keep us STUCK!” Both internal and external, sticky floors include “imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and fear of failure. Systemic barriers, societal expectations, and self-doubt reinforce these limitations. Overcoming them requires self-awareness, challenging limiting beliefs, and taking bold action despite fear.”

The stronger your resilience muscle, the more you train it through little leaps (kind of like rejection therapy, which exposes you to small rejections so you can better emotionally regulate). Take one small action a day, even if you’re not ready to take the leap yet. 

“Your next opportunity is often just outside your comfort zone,” says Rooney. You just have to be prepared to take the leap.

Langa Chinyoka is a Contributing Editor at The Good Trade. She is a writer and strategist based in Los Angeles.